


Can you lip read?

by nanisorero (miriam_lee)



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Awkward Romance, Bittersweet, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Trains
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-26 01:55:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12546224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miriam_lee/pseuds/nanisorero
Summary: Teens being awkward, gay, and awkwardly gay. Sort of a cheesy 11th SL event that takes off after the goodbyes at the railway station.





	Can you lip read?

**Author's Note:**

> Carrying on with Persona fixes for sweet honenenen, who’s faithful to their undateble P4 boyfriend. Hope you’ll like it >//<  
> Note: Car attenders (or more like other people in general) don’t exist in this fic’s universe.

“I’ll see you, big bro. Goodbye!”

After smiling at Nanako, Souji raises his eyes to look at everyone who came to see him off at the train station. Just as them, he knows that he can visit almost anytime. But even if he does, it will be different. He won’t be a part of their lives anymore, like he has been for an entire year. He won’t be a complete outsider, sure, but there will be some kind of an invisible wall between his world and theirs from now on.

Everyone will now be shaping their own destinies, where he won’t play a major role anymore.

Seta shakes off his thoughts and blames himself for some fit of megalomania. What really matters is that he was there for them when they needed it most and that they are alright now. With a careful nod and a gentle smile on his face, he says his silent goodbye, picks up his bag and gets on the train.

Once Souj’s inside, his eyes slowly look everyone around, but soon inadvertently fix on Yosuke. Visibly fidgeting, Hanamura is either biting his lips or muttering something under his nose, and Seta finds himself wishing he could lip read to comprehend. It looks as if Yosuke is encouraging himself to say or do something, or maybe stop himself from saying or doing something. Souji’s not sure which is the case.

The moment the train starting signal sounds and the door is about to close, Yosuke suddenly gives in to whatever thoughts he was having up until now and dashes forward to the carriage. He accidentally bumps into Souji, as he makes it just in time before the door shuts behind him, and the two of them crush on the metallic floor of the enclosed platform.

The looks of everyone outside the train are as startled, as Seta’s. At least, he thinks they are, since he can’t see them from where he is now.

“S-sorry, partner, guess I just.. can’t stop crashing into everything, huh,” Hanamura lets out a nervous laugh, as they both get to their feet.

“Why did you-..”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get off at the next station. It’s some 30 minutes away from Inaba, so no big deal.”

Yosuke brushed off the question almost automatically, but the dull, wobbling sound of an empty moving train makes him realize that he _has_ to explain. He bites his lower lip.

“Listen, I.. I had to say a proper goodbye to you. All I’ve said was about seeing each other soon anyway. As if I didn’t really care about you leaving..”

“I wouldn’t ever take it like that.”

Hanamura smiles sheepishly and nods.

“Yea, I know. But remember how I promised you that I’ll be living without lying to myself from now on? I want to keep my word.”

Souji doesn’t feel like he fully understands, but an anxious, focused look on Yosuke’s face is enough for him to know that it is important.

Leaning back to the metallic wall, Seta closes his eyes and lets out a sigh.

“I guess I’m.. not the person you should give a promise like that to. I don’t think I’m a role model in being honest.”

Before Yosuke voices the confused disagreement on his face, he elaborates.

“I started to think about it after you let me in on your wish to be ‘special’. No matter how much I truly cherish all these connections I’ve made since coming to Inaba..” Souji trails off and looks at the window on the door to his right, “..I’ve initially made them out of my fear to be left alone. To be a plain and unassuming outsider, again.”

Hanamura chuckles.

“Hey, you’d never be like that even if you tried.”

Seta raises his eyes to look straight into Yosuke’s.

“I already am in the city,” he lets the words sink in and then adds: “Remember how you said that you weren’t sure if you wanted to keep in touch with your former classmates after you’d moved here? That you didn’t feel like you were truly friends with them?” He smiles wryly. “Have you ever seen _me_ interact with anyone outside of Inaba during this entire year?”

Even if Yosuke tries not to look too shocked with the sudden realization, his surprise is obvious.

“At times, I even feel like I get Adachi-san, and it scares me,” Seta is looking at the quickly changing scenery in the window. “I think that what made him twisted is what I am constantly running away from. That in the end, I wouldn’t be different, if I hadn’t met all of you. I saw the look in his eyes once, when he understood how easily replaceable people are, and I think-”

“Hey, partner, stop it,” Yosuke puts both hands on his friend’s shoulders, making Souji turn away from the window and face him instead. “You’re not him, not in the slightest, you hear me? He made a victim out of himself and blamed everyone around, but you chose to actually _change_ something, on your own. And don’t you make it sound like something so easy!”

Souji knits his brow, as he hears Hanamura’s voice somewhat tremble.

“I mean, look at me, huh?” Yosuke forces a smile. “I moved here just like you, and not even for a mere year. I didn’t have much in the city, but I _didn’t_ change anything in Inaba, either.” He looks at Souji with genuine admiration and gratitude in his eyes. “If not for you, I’d still be that pathetic Junes boy everyone knows but nobody cares about. Every tiny bit of confidence and optimism I have now, it’s all thanks to you.”

Looking back at his friend, Seta feels a dull pain in his chest and doesn’t know what to say. The grip of Yosuke’s fingers on his shoulders tighten, and in a few seconds Hanamura looks down, as if trying to hide his entire face.

“And it’s just so.. unfair that right after you helped me overcome Saki’s death, I have to overcome the fact that you are leaving, too,” his eyes glued to the floor, Yosuke shakes his head. “I know it’s a stupid comparison, it really is! It’s not like you’re leaving forever, dammit. You’ll probably come back on the Golden week or summer holidays, but-..”

“In your everyday lives, I can eventually end up losing in importance to things that are around all of you at the moment,” Souji finishes his friend’s thought.

“Yeah, and the other way round, probably,” Yosuke agrees sourly. “So I felt like I needed to talk about it while I’m sure it matters to both of us.”

“..Talk about what?”

When Yosuke loosens the grip on his jacket and lets both hands down, Seta regrets not asking about it in a more subtle way.

Still casting down his eyes, Hanamura takes a visible deep breath.

“I’m not jealous of you,” he breathes out.

Souji doesn’t even get enough time to become more confused.

“That’s just.. something I made myself believe in. And made _you_ believe in after-..” he balls both hands into fists. “..that thing I had said to you. And the brawl? I really thought I deserved a few good hits from you for being a hypocrite.”

Even doing his best to follow Yosuke’s thoughts, Seta is still clueless of what it is all about.

“You’re not a hypocrite.”

“Then how do you call someone who cringes at everything Kanji says and then goes and declares another dude ‘special’?” Hanamura chuckles and starts fidgeting with the headphones around his neck. “The thing is.. I didn’t come up with all those ideas to hit on girls, because I tried to cope with my crush on Saki. And I didn’t attack Kanji for who he is, because I was disgusted. Well, maybe I _was_ , but.. not with him.”

Yosuke takes another breath, finally looks Souji in the eye and opens his mouth.. only to fall silent the very next second.

They both just stare at each other without saying a single word for a whole minute, until Hanamura closes his eyes in defeat.

“..Damn, I don’t want you to hear me say it,” he takes off his headphones in a haste. “Can you lip read?”

Seta blinks and doesn’t have enough time to respond. The next second Yosuke’s headphones are on his own head and Yosuke’s reddened face is in front of his, eyes tightly closed and lips trembling.

He can’t lip read. But he doesn’t need to anyway. Even though thick headphones are being tightly pressed to his ears, Souji still hears the distant voice blurt out a desperate “I fell for you, goddammit!” and feels the warm breath of these words against his skin.

Hanamura doesn’t move or open his eyes for a few more moments. He first releases his own headphones, letting them fall on Souji’s neck, then makes a few steps back to an opposite wall and covers his face with one hand.

“Oh god, I so want to disappear right now,” he mumbles.

Souji silently takes the headphones off his neck.

“Hey, we’re on a train, right?” Yosuke lets out a muffled nervous laughter. “That’s convenient. I can simply walk out of that door, while we’re still at full speed.”

Still hearing no response, he buries his face in both palms.

“Seriously, forget about it! I just wanted to keep my promise to you and stop lying to myself about everything. I don’t even know what I hoped for, but I know that I _don’t want_ you to hate my guts now.”

Seta doesn't say anything and steps forward to put the headphones back around Yosuke’s neck. Slowly and uncertainly, Hanamura shifts his hands down a little and looks at Souji through the somewhat quivering fingers.

“..You don’t.. hate my guts now.. right?”

Holding on to the headphones on Yosuke’s neck, Seta slightly tugs at them and draws him closer.

“Does it look like I do?”

Hanamura blinks in surprise and starts moving both hands down his face. Once they’re past his chin, Souji leans in, closes his eyes, and after taking a slow breath begins softly kissing him on the lips.

Yosuke needs less than three seconds of realization to close his eyes too, succumb to the moment and start willingly kissing Souji back. They are both awkward at it, but aren’t concerned with this awkwardness in the slightest. All they care about is sharing as many unsaid words and unexpressed emotions as possible.

The train is gradually dropping its speed, reminding about how short on time they are. Hanamura lets out a quiet whimper, reaches for his friend’s back and immediately digs his fingers into the jacket. Shivering all over, Seta responds by putting his hands down on Yosuke’s shoulders and holding them tight.

When they finally pull back, Hanamura sighs heavily as soon as he catches his breath.

“Hell, if I knew _that_ ’d be your answer, I would have spitted it all out much earlier.”

“It’s not like we would’ve been doing this on a regular basis,” Seta chuckles and hears a scoff in return.

“Obviously. I had to hop on a damn train to get a chance to talk to you alone.”

“Believe me, there’d be no obstacles for you to approach me in the city.”

Yosuke averts a sad gaze to the window where the scenery is moving slower with every second.

“I imagined this station was a bit farther away..” he sighs again.

“You sure you know how to get back to Inaba?”

“I’ll.. figure it out,” Hanamura scratches his head. “It was worth the risk anyway.”

The screeching sound of the breaks cuts like a knife.

“Hey, can you..” Yosuke hesitates for a second, “..do that ‘for girls’ thing again, maybe?”

Looking at him, Souji wonders if red is going to be the new color of his face from now on. He reaches out both arms, but this time Hanamura’s the first one to go in for a hug.

“I’ll miss you badly, man.”

“Hey, a reminder that I’m not exactly dying. We can still text or call each other whenever,” Seta gently pats Yosuke on the back. “Besides, it’s you who said ‘and the other way round’ when I talked about loosing importance. With me, it’ll hardly be the case.”

The moment the train stops, he hears a deep sigh right next to his ear. They pull back for the second time and look at the open door and an empty station on the other side of it.

“Give the city another try,” Yosuke smiles as he reluctantly steps towards the exit. “Now you know that you can be whoever you want.”

Souji shakes his head.

“I was just lucky to meet all of you, that’s all.”

“Well, I’m not telling you to find new best friends or a girlfriend or whatever,” Hanamura blushes for the hundredth time. “Just look for something that can give you a similar feeling. Or..” he finally steps outside and forces a smile. “..screw it all and come back to where you really belong, okay?”

With a pang in his chest, Souji smiles back at Yosuke and watches the train door close, separating them. He doesn’t think twice before making a step forward and putting his right palm flat on the window. Looking aside, Hanamura mumbles something to himself and, with a new shade of blush on his face, puts his hand on the window glass from the other side.

Souji still can’t lip read. But he’s ready to bet it was something along the lines of “That’s an even more ‘for girls’ thing, partner, you know that?”.


End file.
